The Perfect Pour: Turning 50...

In November of last year, I reached the age of 50. Many people look at this age as walking towards the end, but for me, it has been a new beginning. I was not depressed, discouraged or sad about my age, but counted myself blessed to have reached it and looking forward to the future. I decided to celebrate it with a gathering of friends and family where there was singing and dancing, food, poetry and surprises. I wrote this poem for the occasion.

Fifty

Fifty years alive on this earth
I decided to greet it with merriment and mirth

Half of a century, the “middle” part of age
What it would feel like was hard to gauge

Is life really half over, or has it just begun?
Cause I gotta tell you, I am having a lot of fun!

God has brought joy unspeakable to this heart of mine
The table of my life is full of rich food and great wine

This age finds me loved, at peace and secure
Grateful for all that I’ve had to endure

So, I look back and ponder fifty years of life
Some years calm, some filled with strife

Theres been the darkness of abuse by the neighbor Mr. White
My silence assured by shame and fright

Innocence lost, but somehow regained
By the love of Christ and the power in His name

I watched as my sister got beatings and bruises
Too weak to walk away from the chaos and abuses

My counselor’s had a couple of vacations dealing with those things
But in the end, there was healing that gave me wings

To fly away from hurt and loss
Proving to myself God has always been boss

I’ve birthed 3 children, been married twice
Living a life not always sugar and spice

In my fifty years I’ve seen trouble and pain
But hope and peace have been my life’s gain

I’m a wife and a mommy
I’m a friend and a grammy

I’m a teacher and a lover

I’m a dancer undercover

I’m a sinner and a saint
I can love and I can hate

I’ve buried my parents, a sister and in-laws
Spent many years mulling over my flaws

The middle age spread I swore I’d never get
Has caught up with me sure, but I’m not giving up yet

I’ve got tapes aplenty to help work off my weight

And God give me strength to turn down a plate

Theres been giving, theres been taking
Theres been loving, theres been faking

I’ve been a worker outside and a mommy at home
Had a business that I could call my own

I’ve traveled to different countries, seen the ocean and water falls
I’ve broken through barriers and torn down walls

Walls of words that loomed over my head
Words of doubt, tales of dread

Not everyone was sure I’d make it this far
But you’ll hear about that when I write my memoir

So many things left still to do
I don’t know if I’ll ever be through

Adventures to write, stories to tell
Lives to touch, books to sell

I’m not afraid of what fifty will bring
Theres joy in my heart and to that I cling

My joints may creak, my eyes may play tricks
But my heart is still strong beating tick, tick, tick

It’s what pushes me through good times and bad
And for that, I am surely glad

So that I can see fifty and many years beyond
To love family and friends of whom I am so fond

Asking myself what fifty would be…
I look in the mirror and I see me!

Sue Barnard October 2008